CHEERS to Divorce Parties!

Celebrating a divorce? Partying and toasting to the end of a marriage and family? Not your usual cup of tea when it comes to a fun-filled Saturday night. But believe it or not, divorce parties are hip. You don't have to mourn the end of a marriage anymore, you can take the other approach (the high road as some may say) and toast to a new beginning instead. The Miami Herald just today published an article about divorce parties. One specific party hosted in South Beach nonetheless included donating wedding gowns to charity, mini-coffins to put your negative thoughts inside and bury, and donkey designed stress balls for when your ex is acting like a jackass. Finding the humor in these parties is obvious. However, the goal is to bring together divorcees and encourage them to move forward in their lives and let go of the past. Experiencing a divorce is beyond difficult for some as it is one of the most stressful and emotional times of a person's life.  Humor and light-heartedness are the best means of motivation for moving on.  Whether it's a divorce party or a divorce coach, there are ways to pick oneself up from the hardship of a divorce and find the happiness in life again.

Source: Miami Herald, Tropical Life Section, by Sue Arrowsmith dated July 9, 2014 (Picture taken from Miami Herald article)

Divorcing After 50

Although this topic is not unusual, it now presents an interesting perspective. The "silver" divorce is gaining in popularity and beginning to concern professionals from financial planners to sociologists to the federal government. As of 2010, the silver divorce has more than doubled from 1 in 10 divorces to 1 in 4 divorces, according to U.S. Census data by the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University. Why the worry? Well, as this aging group of baby boomers suddenly becomes more single, there is a real possibility of an increase in poverty rates for these singles compared to those whom remain married.  Single individuals are less able to take advantage of the economic benefits of marriage. For instance, there are no built-in caregivers or a second source of income. Additionally, policy experts are concerned about the affect on Social Security, Medicare and other federal programs. 
Why are silver divorces doubling in numbers? Many researchers believe this increase stems from multiple factors. One major factor being the disappearance of the stigma of divorcing. A cultural shift back in the 1970's has progressively lessened the negativity surrounding divorce. Long term marriages tend to fall apart once the children are grown. Life expectancy is growing and people are no longer willing to remain in mediocre marriages when a large portion of their life is still ahead of them.
Some words of advice for those experiencing the beginnings of a silver divorce. Don't litigate against a spouse whom you've just shared 20, 30 or 40 years with.  These divorces may be tense, but can definitely remain amicable. Mediating with a Supreme Court certified family mediator is the least stressful and emotional way to separate. Mediators can also assist the individuals with finding other post-divorce professionals to help guide the parties through the next phase of their life.  After a long term marriage, one or both of the parties will benefit from the help of a financial planner, mental health therapist, and/or divorce coach. Most importantly, family mediation won't nearly break the bank for a divorcing couple as a litigious divorce would.
(Source - Miami Herald, Tropical Life Section, "Suddenly Single" by Ana Veciana-Suarez dated April 19, 2014)

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FRIDAY-ISM 025: In Honor of Memorial Day - "A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself." - Joseph Campbell
As we enjoy the long holiday weekend, let's not forget to remember those who are heroes in our country and our every day life. Be a Hero to someone by showing him/her how to do the right thing.

United Family Court Summit

Today I attended an insightful and extremely informative Unified Family Court Summit. 

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Some powerful words in the wake of loss, be it loss of a loved one, relationship, or something else you cherished:
“This is not a goodbye, my darling, this is a thank you. Thank you for coming into my life and giving me joy, thank you for loving me and receiving my love in return. Thank you for the memories I will cherish forever. But most of all, thank you for showing me that there will come a time when I can eventually let you go." - Nicholas Sparks

Forgiveness - A Trait We All Can Work On

As the title already points out, forgiveness is one trait that is a continual work in progress. An act warranting forgiveness ranges from the trivial act (taking a cookie without asking), to the moderate act (telling a lie to avoid being punished or hurting someone's feelings), to the severe act which could be punishable by law.  Regardless of the act, the root of all forgiveness is the same - putting aside your own feelings as the victim and absolving the offender of the act. Research studies have shows that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold grudges and resentments.  We all can work a little harder at forgiving those that have hurt us. Whether it's your child who called you a negative name or your ex-spouse who has made your life miserable after the marriage, forgiveness is in order.


An outrageous example of forgiveness was recently debuted in Iran. I have posted a link to the story below......Now that's forgiveness!
http://www.businessinsider.com/iranian-parents-spared-their-sons-killer-from-execution-2014-4?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+businessinsider+%28Business+Insider%29

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In the Words of Queen Elsa - "Let It Go!" - Although Disney's meaning for the saying is not as deep as mine, the quote is still poignant. Basically, don't sweat the small stuff. Save your arguments, opinions and judgments for the major things in life and let the simple things go.