Monday, July 28, 2014

4 Valid Reasons to Divorce

If you're experiencing a rocky marriage or serious relationship, perhaps you should take a step back and re-evaluate what's going on. Read the below article and maybe you will find some clarity.
4 Completely Valid Reasons for Getting Divorced

Monday, July 21, 2014

ALMOST a Win for Same Sex Marriage

Yes, I know that this topic is counterproductive to my business. However, despite all the divorce and separation that I handle, I still support love and happiness all the way! With that being said, same sex couples were almost handed a win in the fight for gay marriage last Thursday in Key West, Florida. A gay couple filed a lawsuit against the Monroe County Clerk when they were denied a marriage license earlier this year. Believe it or not, Chief Circuit Judge Luis Garcia ruled that the Florida Constitutional Amendment banning same sex marriage violates the United States Constitution, which promises U.S. citizens protection over "the rights of the individual, the rights of the unpopular and rights of the powerless, even at the cost of offending the majority." However, Attorney General Pam Bondi immediately appealed the ruling to the Third District Court of Appeal, which triggered an automatic stay on Judge Garcia's ruling. What does that mean?? It means that gay couples can not proceed with obtaining marriage licenses in Key West until either the stay is lifted by Judge Garcia or the district court. Once again, it becomes a waiting game for this couple and thousands more. But at least it is a HUGE step in the right direction!
The lack of same sex marriage laws similarly affects the couples' ability to divorce. Gay couples who have married in another state that allows gay marriage still can not receive a divorce in Florida. A lesbian couple in Hillsborough County is suing to divorce and the court would not grant it because Florida does not recognize the marriage. The couple could still attend a family mediation and create a divorce settlement agreement so they can move on with their lives. Although the agreement would not be enforceable through the court system, it could still act as a contract between the parties.

(Source- Miami Herald, Same-Sex Rights, by Steve Rothaus and Cammy Clark, July 19, 2014; picture source

Friday, July 18, 2014


FRIDAY-ISM 026: My EX will NOT determine how I feel today...I WILL!! - Wise words from an old friend. Now go enjoy the weekend.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Life + Love + Hope = Happiness

I attended an unbelievably, beautiful wedding this past weekend in New York City. And although I'm typically posting about the end of a marriage, I felt compelled to remind us that love can still exist in the wake of a divorce. It's important to remember that love did once blossom in your life and it can bloom again in the future.  This wedding's venue was positioned so the Freedom Tower was directly in the background. I don't know about you, but I always look for symbolism in the environment around me. During the ceremony, I couldn't help but be consciously aware that life, love and hope are intertwined and lay the foundation of what's ahead for us all.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

CHEERS to Divorce Parties!

Celebrating a divorce? Partying and toasting to the end of a marriage and family? Not your usual cup of tea when it comes to a fun-filled Saturday night. But believe it or not, divorce parties are hip. You don't have to mourn the end of a marriage anymore, you can take the other approach (the high road as some may say) and toast to a new beginning instead. The Miami Herald just today published an article about divorce parties. One specific party hosted in South Beach nonetheless included donating wedding gowns to charity, mini-coffins to put your negative thoughts inside and bury, and donkey designed stress balls for when your ex is acting like a jackass. Finding the humor in these parties is obvious. However, the goal is to bring together divorcees and encourage them to move forward in their lives and let go of the past. Experiencing a divorce is beyond difficult for some as it is one of the most stressful and emotional times of a person's life.  Humor and light-heartedness are the best means of motivation for moving on.  Whether it's a divorce party or a divorce coach, there are ways to pick oneself up from the hardship of a divorce and find the happiness in life again.

Source: Miami Herald, Tropical Life Section, by Sue Arrowsmith dated July 9, 2014 (Picture taken from Miami Herald article)

Monday, July 7, 2014

Divorcing After 50

Although this topic is not unusual, it now presents an interesting perspective. The "silver" divorce is gaining in popularity and beginning to concern professionals from financial planners to sociologists to the federal government. As of 2010, the silver divorce has more than doubled from 1 in 10 divorces to 1 in 4 divorces, according to U.S. Census data by the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University. Why the worry? Well, as this aging group of baby boomers suddenly becomes more single, there is a real possibility of an increase in poverty rates for these singles compared to those whom remain married.  Single individuals are less able to take advantage of the economic benefits of marriage. For instance, there are no built-in caregivers or a second source of income. Additionally, policy experts are concerned about the affect on Social Security, Medicare and other federal programs. 
Why are silver divorces doubling in numbers? Many researchers believe this increase stems from multiple factors. One major factor being the disappearance of the stigma of divorcing. A cultural shift back in the 1970's has progressively lessened the negativity surrounding divorce. Long term marriages tend to fall apart once the children are grown. Life expectancy is growing and people are no longer willing to remain in mediocre marriages when a large portion of their life is still ahead of them.
Some words of advice for those experiencing the beginnings of a silver divorce. Don't litigate against a spouse whom you've just shared 20, 30 or 40 years with.  These divorces may be tense, but can definitely remain amicable. Mediating with a Supreme Court certified family mediator is the least stressful and emotional way to separate. Mediators can also assist the individuals with finding other post-divorce professionals to help guide the parties through the next phase of their life.  After a long term marriage, one or both of the parties will benefit from the help of a financial planner, mental health therapist, and/or divorce coach. Most importantly, family mediation won't nearly break the bank for a divorcing couple as a litigious divorce would.
(Source - Miami Herald, Tropical Life Section, "Suddenly Single" by Ana Veciana-Suarez dated April 19, 2014)