FRIDAY-ISM 001

FRIDAY-ISM 001: Your family might seem highly dysfunctional, but in the end it's your family that's holding your hand. Put the drama aside and tell a family member how much you love them today.

FRIDAY-ISMs - Something New

FRIDAY-ISM: I'm starting something new, a "Friday-ism." At the end of the work week, it's a good time to reflect on what's really important in our lives. We get caught up in all the chaos of work and the everyday dramatics with family and friends during the week that sometimes we lose sight of what's really important. So my next post will be my first Friday-ism - something that's pertinent to my life at the moment. Feel free to comment or add your own supplements to my thoughts.

What Do I Do Now?

Teetering on the edge of a divorce or separation? Wondering where do I go from here? Besides seeking professional advice from either a mental health therapist, divorce lawyer, family mediator, financial advisor, or accountant, it is important to gather information early.  This document gathering can be done with your soon-to-be ex-spouse/partner or individually. Important documents and statements include (but are not limited to): paycheck stubs, tax documents, bank account summaries, health insurance, childrens' school tuition, mortgage summaries, life insurance policies, car payments and insurance, and retirement plans. Also, gather your other monthly expenses, including rent, utility, cellphone, and cable bills. As tedious as this activity sounds, it will save you a ton of headaches later on. If you want to take the extra step, you can prepare a financial affidavit. Hold on to this affidavit as you will need it once you file with the court. If your income is $50,000 or greater, select the long form, otherwise select the short form.
http://www.flcourts.org/gen_public/family/forms_rules/902c.pdf  (Short Form)
http://www.flcourts.org/gen_public/family/forms_rules/902b.pdf (Long Form)

Don't Forget About The Kids

Children are the unfortunate victims of a divorce or separation. Amidst the confusion, the children can inadvertently be treated as pawns or their feelings are neglected. Although we may remind our children over and over again that what's happening between Mommy and Daddy is not their fault, our words are not always understood. It's SO important to teach these children that their "normal" is shifting to a "new normal." Children can relate to a story better than they can a live conversation with a parent. So with that...I've posted below several excellent books to read to your children as you and your spouse move from joint parenting to co-parenting. (click on the link next to the book title to learn more)

Toddler/Preschool
Nina Has Two Houses by Danielle Jacobs (http://www.amazon.com/Nina-Has-Two-Houses-situation/dp/0984962611)
Two Homes by Claire Masurel (http://www.amazon.com/Two-Homes-Claire-Masurel/dp/0763619841/ref=pd_sim_b_3)
It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear byVicki Lansky (http://www.amazon.com/Your-Fault-Koko-Bear-Read-Together/dp/0916773477/ref=pd_sim_b_1)

Elementary School
I Don't Want to Talk About it by Jeanie Franz Ransom and Kathryn Kunz Finney (http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Talk-about-It/dp/1557987033/ref=pd_sim_b_10)
A Smart's Girl's Guide to Her Parent's Divorce by Nancy Holyoke (http://www.amazon.com/Smart-Girls-Guide-Parents-Divorce/dp/1593694881/ref=pd_sim_b_12)

Middle School/High School
The Divorce Helpbook for Teens by Cynthia MacGregor (http://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Helpbook-Teens-Rebuilding-Books/dp/1886230579/ref=pd_sim_b_4)

Parents Book
Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way by M. Gary Neuman (http://www.amazon.com/Helping-Your-Kids-Divorce-Sandcastles/dp/0679778012/ref=pd_sim_b_6)